Chapter 5: The Ignored Struggles

Humans tend to see themselves as perfectly rational creatures, but if that were the case, we would all live in harmony, and things like makeup, megayachts, or civet poop coffee wouldn’t exist.

Oui, oui. Civet poop coffee is a real thing.

And yes, it’s exactly what you think it is: coffee beans that have been partially digested by the common palm civet—a teeny-weeny nocturnal mammal native to Southeast Asia—and then pooped out. And, of course, yes, it costs $650 per kilogram (instead of around $5 for “normal” coffee). Oh, and yes, people do buy it even though it’s super unethical since civets are often caged and force-fed the beans, disrupting their natural diets and behaviors.

Civet coffee producers’ rational argument is that it’s more aromatic and less bitter than regular coffee. They also say that the beans wild civets pick are the best because civets would pick the ripest and tastiest coffee cherries. But let’s be real—if we were all ruled by logic, civet poop producers would be out of a job. Nobody really needs coffee shat out by a jungle cat.

But people want it. They want it for irrational reasons.

Like, I’m sure it makes for a really good dinner party trick. You present your guests with a special, intriguing coffee. After each sip, you observe their reactions, waiting for the perfect moment to reveal your secret: “It’s poop coffee! And I bought 50 grams of it for $49!” It’s your way to impress others, to be seen as sophisticated and interesting, and to entertain your guests.

Or maybe it’s to offer as a gift to your cousin Jason, who’s a coffee lover. Or satisfy your curiosity by trying the world’s most expensive coffee. Or maybe it’s to relive memories from the past since you tasted it 28 years ago on a trip to Indonesia and you’ve been craving it ever since.

The Problem: We Love to Pretend People Are Robots

The folks who make up the marketing world love to pretend people are robots—cold, calculating machines that analyze every purchase with the logic of a cyborg. And who can blame them? It seems easier to sell to walking spreadsheets than to messy, emotional humans.

But it’s just so fucking boring.

I don’t want to live in a world where civet coffee is marketed as a tastier coffee, do you? I want to live in a world where it’s positioned as a cool party trick for weirdos like me. Now that sounds fun, doesn’t it?

All right … let’s ditch the boring, robotic marketing formulas and dive headfirst into the fascinating world of human behavior—the real kind. Table 5.1 lists potential irrational reasons why folks would buy civet coffee.

Table 5.1. Breaking Down the Irrational Reasons Why People Would Buy Civet Poop Coffee

Irrational Reason	Explanation
To use as a party trick to impress guests	People want to seem cool and interesting by serving fancy coffee.
To gift to a coffee lover	Giving this coffee shows you put in extra effort to find something unique and expensive.
To satisfy curiosity by trying the world’s most expensive coffee	People are curious about rare and exclusive things, even if they aren’t better.
To relive memories from the past	Tasting it again can bring back happy feelings from a past experience.

In the words of Seth Godin: “When in doubt, assume that people will act according to their current irrational urges, ignoring information that runs counter to their beliefs, trading long-term for short-term benefits, and being influenced by the culture they identify by. I’m not rational, and neither are you.”

All those reasons to want this weird coffee are caused by irrational struggles. By “irrational,” I mean the bizarre stuff humans do that doesn’t make sense.

Irrational struggles are the emotional and often subconscious problems that prevent a certain group of people from getting a job done.

This kind of struggle is the juiciest because the big companies you’re likely competing against tend to see people as rational decision-makers—which means that they overlook the irrationality of human behavior.

And, honestly? I find this whole irrationality thing way more interesting than near-robotic logic. I like connecting with people on a deeper, more human level.

In most places, “you can never be fired for being logical,” argues Rory Sutherland. “If your reasoning is sound and unimaginative, even if you fail, you will unlikely attract much blame.” But solving rational problems will get you “exactly in the same place as your competitors.” In other words, to find ignored struggles, start with the irrational ones. Table 5.2 presents a list of irrational struggles I use with my clients when they’re feeling stuck.

Table 5.2. Breaking Down Irrational Struggles

Category	Definition	Example
Self-love	Avoiding feeling like a loser	LatinUs: ‘My hair is like lo mein noodles. I look like a witch.‘
Love and company	Avoiding loneliness	PTDC: ‘Jacked nerds’ need to be surrounded by others like them.
Fitting in	Craving approval and belonging	Toilet packet: ‘I have a roommate now. We share a bathroom, so I can discreetly keep these packets.‘
Purpose	Seeking meaning, unity, and nostalgia	Civet coffee: Reliving memories after tasting it 28 years ago in Indonesia
Control freaks	Controlling and organizing chaos	LatinUs: ‘Never in my life have I been able to control the frizz.‘
Fewer decisions	Avoiding overwhelming choices	This book: Gives readers a comprehensive plan to stand the f*ck out
Entertainment	Seeking fun and avoiding boredom	East Forged: Treating myself to a fancy drink after a long day
’Look at me!’	Seeking recognition and wanting to be valued	Civet coffee: To use as a party trick to impress guests
Reducing risk	Reducing risk, even if it means not using the best option	Hotjar: Signing up because you’ve used it in a previous role
Power trip	Seeking superiority or ‘keeping up with the Joneses’	LatinUs: Looking the best when going out with friends

Toilet packet: “I bought these because now I have a roommate. We have to share a bathroom, so I can discreetly keep these packets in my container and use them when I’m home and won’t be embarrassed when my roommate walks in after.”

Purpose

Seeking meaning, unity, and nostalgia

Civet coffee: Reliving memories after tasting it 28 years ago on a trip to Indonesia

Control freaks

Controlling and organizing chaos

LatinUs Beauty shampoo: “Never in my life have I been able to weigh my hair down enough and control the frizz.”

Fewer decisions

Avoiding overwhelming choices

This book: Gives readers a comprehensive plan to follow to stand the f*ck out

Entertainment

Seeking fun and avoiding boredom

East Forged cold brew tea: Treating myself to a fancy drink after a long day

“Look at me!”

Seeking recognition and wanting to be valued

Civet coffee: To use as a party trick to impress guests

Reducing risk

Reducing risk, even if it means not using the best option

Hotjar behavior analytics tool: Signing up to use the tool because you’ve come across it in a previous role

Power trip

Seeking superiority or at least “keeping up with the Joneses”

LatinUs Beauty shampoo: Looking the best when going out with friends

On the other hand, there are the rational struggles that we all tend to think about easily. Table 5.3 shows the rational factors people think about when making choices and what we, marketers, tend to think about naturally.

Table 5.3. Breaking Down Rational Struggles

Rational Struggle	Definition
Knowledge	Getting smarter
Safety	Feeling safe and secure
Health	Staying healthy and avoiding pain
Time	Saving time and avoiding wasting it
Money	Making money and avoiding losing it
Tranquility	Reducing effort and avoiding hassle

Whether struggles are rational or irrational, the underlying structure remains the same. Use the SOS framework to make these insights easily shareable with your team or clients and create a shared understanding (Figure 5.1). It stands for:

• Stop. Do they want to stop, avoid, or change something?

• Obstacle. What is standing in the way of reaching the job, exactly?

• Situation. In what context does this struggle typically occur?

Use the SOS framework to structure your struggles.

For example, avoiding being embarrassed when my roommate walks in the bathroom after me is a good way to use the SOS framework because it clearly describes the direction (stop), the obstacle (embarrassment), and the situation (when my roommate walks in the bathroom after me).

To avoid confusing struggles with jobs, think of it like friends in a raft navigating a river, as beautifully illustrated in Figure 5.2. The job is to reach the beach on the other side, while the struggles are the rocks in the way. Clearly define each obstacle using the SOS framework to identify the perceived fears, risks, obstacles, or lack of resources preventing them from reaching their goal.

Roger the Rooster and his friends want to avoid the rocks (struggles) in order to reach the beach (job).